Our Adventures With Pets
Did you have a pet as a kid? If not, probably you've wished to... If yes, you would want that experience for your children. As a little girl, I was always saving the street kittens. At least trying to... How? Simply. I would bring them home. Imagine, my Mom coming from work to another "sick" street animal to deal with... Most of the time, those kittens would be sick or injured. We lived in an apartment, my parents disapproved having a cat or a dog at home. Fish and parrots were allowed. But... I wanted to touch and cuddle with my cute friend. I did that actually, with fish (laughing). When everybody was away, I would fetch and give them hugs and kisses. My parents were wondering: "Why the fish is dying?" I was upset, surely. "I have them so much cuddles and kisses! Why they died, Mama?" Well, it was obvious to the adults that the aquarium fish aquarium shouldn't be touched... alas, nobody shared with me that wisdom of humanity... how would I know by default? (smiling)
Now back to my relationship with cats. Unfortunately, my kittens brought home have miraculously ran away... Forcibly, as I have discovered when grew up. Every time the sick kitten has suddenly disappeared, I would be heart-broken. I grieved the loss... Child trauma for life. My parents realized that something should be done to stop this harmful process. They asked my Aunty for a kitten given birth by her domestic (clean) cat. I was in heaven that to get that furry bundle of joy! Though, the cat at home came with many restrictions: a cat isn't allowed in bed, cuddles are not allowed, petting only etc. I am not judging my parents, by no means. They did their best to raise 3 kids. However, I have introduced some changes with my children. It was a rocky journey though...
Hamster
With my firstborn, the limiting beliefs of my parents were sitting strongly in my head. I was young and living abroad. We changed countries for job. So, having a fluffy pet didn't seem practical. The first pet of my kid was a Russian dwarf hamster: a lesson learned. Kids can cuddle a hamster and build a friendly relationship, I thought. Little I knew that hamster as a pet should be age-appropriate. My 6-year old son has stepped on his hamster by accident and broke his leg. We've been to the vet several times together with my son and treated the hamster with the antibiotics... (it's like having another sick child to take care of...) In the end, our hamster has died. I have unwillingly exposed my son to grieving the loss of a family member. We've conducted a burial ceremony together with our kid and had a modest funeral to honor the soul of a hamster (don't laugh please...). That's the first time, I had a discussion about afterlife with my son given that he has personally experienced the loss of a loved one. In an attempt to correct my mistake, we've got another dwarf hamster 6 years after. She's lived with us up to 1 year, her full lifespan despite having cancer. It seemed, my son has recovered from his previous trauma...
Cat
The next saddening experience was with kittens. My firstborn son made a joke that he's unlucky with cats. The first kitten we have adopted had serious bladder issues. As much as I have tried to save that kitten, after a surgery and 24 hours in hospital, the veterinarians advised me to put him to sleep. It was a humane thing to do, they've told me. The next kitty has also died of sickness in a month after I brought him home. I was reliving my childhood nightmare as an adult and in addition, exposing my son to yet another trauma. Yet again, to fix my mistakes and to make my child's wish come true, I have adopted another kitten. And again, we had to separate with him due to some documentation issues and later we couldn't import this cat because of the global pandemic. Finally, we have decided together with my son that we shouldn't separate this now-adult-cat from his family where he grew up, at the cat-sitter's.
It's not the end of this story. I didn't give up! The last year, we have adopted the 4th cat. We've got a new family member! Sweet fluff, isn't he? My firstborn has chosen this kitten himself and we've brought him home together. It was a beautiful gift for our 9-months old baby. My teenager has named him Thomas Shelby (yeah, right, from Peaky Blinders!). We call him shortly Tommy. This cat is healthy (so far... knock on the wood!). Our Little One's first best furry friend. It took him some time to learn how to play with the kitten without pulling his tail and paws. First, started petting him softly. In 6 months, our toddler gives this cat many cuddles and says gently: "I love ya...". And yes, I have made some changes to the strict rules of my parents: our Tommy sleeps with children or us, he's allowed in bed and cuddles are more than welcomed. Modern Parenting in the 21st century.
Benefits and Risks of Pets at Home
Before deciding to get a cat, we have considered pros and cons, benefits and risks. Let's start with the benefits. There are numerous research-based reviews of the positive impact of pets on the child's growth and development. However, you should keep in mind that pets also pose some risks to the child's health and safety. Different animals means different risks, some are more dangerous than the others. Keep in mind that animals carry germs and infections which may cause stomach illness or food poisoning. Regardless of your strict rules. Therefore, it's important to step up on the hygiene at home and take your pet to regular vet checks.
Psychologists and pediatricians have concluded that pet companions boost self-esteem of children (and adults by the way!), contributes to their cognitive development and improve the social skills. Moreover, recent studies suggest that the early exposure to pets may help to protect young children from developing the allergies and asthma (surprise, surprise!). Also, domestic animals can teach children the basic values. For example, being more responsible, kinder and gentle with other living beings. Our Little Persons learn a lot about love from their fluffy best friends. They are always there for them... Giving love and affection unconditionally. Finally, the domestic companions lower the stress levels of everyone in the family.
Pet-owning kids are more obedient and physically active, less moody, have better general health and fewer behavior and learning problems.
A Pet for Your Kid: 10 Basic Rules
Discuss with your child what kind of pet he/she would wish to have. Choose age-appropriate and child-friendly animals.
Analise together with your child pros and cons and, for sure, with another adult in the family.
Consider if your living conditions are compatible with that particular animal and reconsider your budgeting (yep, owning a pet can unexpectedly hit hard your pocket...).
Agree with your kid in advance about his/her tasks and responsibilities about the pet.
Preferably, adopt a pet to give your child a lesson of compassion and kindness, to teach how to help the vulnerable.
Let the child choose the pet him/herself and name her/him.
Make sure to vaccinate and take the pet for regular vet check-ups.
Upgrade the hygiene rules at home.
Treat the pet gently with love and kindness. Cruelty and "lesser being" attitude shouldn't be allowed. Don't use "it" in reference to the pet out of respect for your child's feelings as they tend to personify the domestic animal and consider them an equal family member.
Enjoy the pet yourself too!
Did you get a pet for your kid? Why not? It's never too late to make your children happier: give him/her the best friend at home! Do that today! If you'd like to learn more of my lifehacks on creating The Healthy&Happy Family, book your session now and here! Get your personal strategy customized for your family!
Reminder: Healthy&Happy Children = Healthy&Happy Parents!
Gulnoz, Your Life Coach (aka Oxford-graduated Human Rights Lawyer)
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