Self-Care Basics for Modern Parents

Balanced. Rested. Zen. Your Best Self.

SelfCare for Parents is not a luxury but a life-saving must!

Key Points

Healthy&Happy Parents = Healthy&Happy Children!
Caring for your mind, body, and spirit means stronger mental, physical and emotional health which equals to longer happy and fulfilled life.
Seven types of self-care: physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social, relational, safety and security. Learn to distinguish and to develop strategies accordingly.
Your modest Life Coach for Parents at Modern Parenting can help you to analyse your lifestyle and to improve your self-care habits. Book FREE discovery call.

When we become parents, that life-forever-changed experience, our selfcare dream becomes limited to just getting enough of uninterrupted sleep, longer undisturbed shower and a cup of coffee/tea or a glass of wine or a meal in peace, preferably alone... We feel powerless against our circumstances... Wouldn't you want to take your power back? But how? That's the question! At Modern Parenting, we know the answer and can share with you. Start with reading this article, then book a 30-minutes FREE discovery call or SelfCare session. Take action! I am confident that you can learn to improve your selfcare routine as Healthy&Happy Parents = Healthy&Happy Children!

What's SelfCare?

Parenting is literally exhausting, overwhelming and stressful. Moreover, we are so focused on childcare, our partner and family, friends, work and other obligations. Anything and everyone but myself. We neglect our human needs. We don't have neither time nor energy, or actually willingness. We simply don't prioritize ourself. Which is wrong. We don't listen to ourselves. Even if try, we can't hear our own voice. Do you ask yourself: "How are you doing?" "How are you feeling?" "What do you need?" "How could I help you?" Just simply checking in with yourself. I bet you don't. However, that's where selfcare begins: awareness of self. Remove that limiting thought that being kind, compassionite to and taking care of yourself is selfish. It is an individual choice to be proactive in caring for your well-being in your best interest. Trust me, your family would be the first, after you, to benefit from your selfcare practice.

"Self-care is how you take your power back", Lalah Delia, Los Angeles (US) based spiritual writer and wellness educator.

Every stage of a child's development and growth has its challenges. It never gets easier,. We should get more skilled to navigate parenting in a healthy and happy manner. And selfcare should be our priority to balance out the overwhelm, fatigue and stress. So what is selfcare? It's anything you do to purposefully improve your physical, mental and emotional health. It's vital to build resilience against stressors of life that are out of our control. It's not a luxury. It is a necessity. Most importantly, the health and happiness of our children directly depends from the physical and mental health of their parents. How come we do NOT prioritize our well-being and take preventive, instead of reactive measures? Finally, if you take good care of your mind, body and spirit, you become the best version of yourself and live your best life!

Self-care: a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being."Dorociak KE, Rupert PA, Bryant FB, Zahniser E. Development of Self-Care Assement for Psychologists, Journal of Counseling Psychology. 2017.

Benefits of Self-Care

Simply in 1 sentence: caring for your mind, body, and spirit means stronger mental, physical and emotional health which equals to longer happy and fulfilled life. It's a common misconception that selfcare costs much. Take a deep breath in and out 4 times. That's a simple act of selfcare for free. Deep breath calms your nervous system and lets go off tension. Pay attention to the flavor of your morning coffee. Enjoy it. Be present now and here. Mindfulness. That is a care for your body and mind. That is a conscious action you can do for your own well-being. For free. Now you're positively charged for a productive day.

“When self-care is regularly practiced, the benefits are broad and have even been linked to positive health outcomes such as reduced stress, improved immune system, increased productivity, and higher self-esteem,” Brighid Courtney, faculty member at the Wellness Council of America.

You perform better with regular selfcare practice. When you take good care of yourself, it gives you a sense of satisfaction. You feel more confident. Think better of yourself. You take your power back. Ready to conquer the world? "Bring it on, Life!" attitude. I'm ready to face whatever may come my way. Interestingly, you will definitely overcome those challenges because self-care increases your productivity and enhances your resilience. Plus, when you're well-rested, your brain works much better.

A good self-care system positively impacts our kids. Our selfcare routine is a model for our children how to respect and love oneself. Children learn more from what they see rather than they are told repeatedly. My life mantra: "Work hard, rest well". Our boys observe my lifestyle and learn. Moreover, when you're balanced and zen, your reactions and behavior with children is calm and kind. Peaceful and loving atmosphere at home. Healthier and happier environment for children to grow and become an independent healthy and happy person.

Self-care activities positively affect the relationship with your partner, in-laws, family members, colleagues, friends and others around you. When I respond to my needs with a targeted action to satisfy them, I become The better version of myself. People enjoy being around me. I crack jokes. Smile. Energize. Support. Feel the joy of living. As the French say: "La joie de vivre". Moreover, self-care is positively contagious, by the way. My partner and teenager son notice my regular meditation every morning, working on my mindfulness, exercising 3 times a week, eating well (min. 5 fruits&veggies per day), making sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep despite having a toddler, taking long walks etc. They get interested and motivated to introduce these strategies to their self-care system and embrace a more positive and healthy lifestyle. My son has already tried out yoga classes at the age of 7-years old, now planning to take up a couple yoga class with my husband.

Types of SelfCare

There are 7 types of SelfCare: physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social, relational, safety and security, Why it's important to know them? To assess how you're caring for yourself in different aspects of your life and to develop the effefective strategies as well as your plan of action.

Physical self-care includes any activity that involves improving and/or maintaining the health and wellness of your body. It includes the exercising, walking, focused breathing, relaxing your muscles, getting adequate sleep, and eating well (i.e. choosing healthy and nourishing foods over highly processed ones). Start easy. For example, create a ritual. Check out my article: Parental (Crazy) Morning Routine vs. "Feel Good" Healthy Morning Ritual (modernparenting.online)
Emotional self-care is caring for your emotional needs. How? Identify: I am sad now. Acknowledge: indeed, I feel hurt. Feel the emotion, sit in with it. Express your emotional needs to yourself and your loved ones. Then move forward in a way that respects yourself and these emotions. Sad? Upset? Do something to cheer yourself up! Emotional care also means a positive self-talk, saying “no” to toxic people and situations, letting yourself to take a pause and rest. Or simply a bubble bath! Check out my article: Bubble bath: relieve, clean, improve! Enjoy like a Queen/King! (modernparenting.online). By the way, don't exclude counselling or asking for help or just talking to a friend,
Spiritual self-care is connected to beliefs, values, and a higher purpose in life. The harmony and balance of our soul or spirit. Balanced you. How? Attend a religious ceremony, do yoga, meditate, take a walk in nature. Do a good deed, simple act of kindness. I love helping people, for example. Write a gratitude journal. We have a gratitude jar at home: each one of us makes a small note of the blessing of today after diner and puts in that jar. We love reading each other's notes in the end of the month.
Intellectual self-care: I need regular intellectual stimulation. That makes me feel alive. I am a continuous learner. I feel good if learn at least a small something a day. At home, we love talking politics over dinner. My teen's favorites these days are the gun control and war in Ukraine. Critical thinking and expressing opinions boosts self-esteem and confidence, both parents and children.
Social self-care means to interact and improve relationships with the people in the world around us: family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, passerby, shop assistants, etc. We're social beings, we crave connection. Everybody has realised that clearly during the epidemic quarantine times. Connecting with others is restorative and energizing. Go to parties, call a friend, ask your neigbour: "How's she/him doing?". Join a book club or a knitting class. Any socialising.
Relational self-care. Our loved ones mean the world to us. Our immediate family: partners, children, parents. Our extended family. Close friends. If we're in conflict with any of them, our heart is aching. Taking care of yourself also means working on the healthy relations with the important people in your life. Say: "I'm sorry" "I forgive you" "I love you". "Thank you". Let the magic words work their magic!
Safety and security. That's the basic human need: to feel safe and secure. You care about your well-being by ensuring the financial stabiltiy, having roof over your family's head, good healcare, education for children. You name it!

Our SelfCare Program is based on the concept that your physical, mental and emotional health is a priority. As a parent, you should undertake regular actions to keep your batteries in check and to restore balance when needed. As the instruction on the plane: "Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on your child". During the first session, we will make a personal SWAT analysis to identify the gaps in your selfcare, define the areas for improvement and decide on goals. The following sessions are personalized based on the introduction (the first) session.

Cherish yourself. Gift yourself that precious time and effort that hardly remains just for you. Show some Love to Yourself. You matter. Your Feelings matter. Your well-being matters.Live your life to the fullest. Find your Best Self! Book Your Session Now!

Book SelfCare Session

Looking forward to meet and help you to become a balanced, rested and zen happy & healthy parent. Take your power back!

Gulnoz, Your Life Coach for Modern Parents